are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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