i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
