Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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