fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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