i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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