Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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