i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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