Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
