Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
