The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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