meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
