he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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