i don't like sucking hair
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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