Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
