they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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