This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
