you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
