Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
