he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
