I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
