Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
