my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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