I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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