They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We're not piercing ourselves today.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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