Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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