he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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