eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
