Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
