i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
