Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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