love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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