ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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