we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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