Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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