I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm at about main and main street
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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