I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need to calm my uterus...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
