girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
whose parrot is this?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
