We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
