maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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