You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
how drunk are you?
Several
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
