What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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