some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
