i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Panties = found
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
