Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
