Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
