I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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