i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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