Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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