I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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