wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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