he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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