So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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