it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
