I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
