Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
