As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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