Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
