I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
