my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize