I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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